Forgiveness VS Reconciliation

Last Friday, April 21, I attended a service where the speaker was speaking on "dealing with past hurts". He made a point to explain the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.
He said, "Forgiveness is a decisions of their own will. Reconciling needs both sides, forgiveness can be one sided." (He then read from Romans 12:17-21 which states vengeance is the Lord's! But that's another topic for another time.)

Then this past Thursday as I was waiting for my grandma to have an x-ray and ultrasound done, I was reading a section of the book "Boundaries: when to say yes, how to say no, to take control of your life" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

And it just so happened that the subtopic on page 257 was on forgiveness and reconciliation. It states "The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) we always need to forgive, but (2) we do not always achieve reconciliation."

Often, I would only think about this topic in relation to someone who has wronged me which would require me to forgive. I'm learning that "forgiveness is something we do in our hearts... and it is a work of grace in my heart." (Cloud and Townsend, 257). And to reconcile a relationship, if this is the best direction to go, requires the ability to continue on in a friendship even after a fall out has happened. And how this reconciliation works is through intentional and potentially awkward conversations...

Having been a Christ-follower since a young age, I've always thought that forgiveness through what Jesus did on the cross was just standard, common knowledge... That, the only way we can be reconciled in our relationship with God is through going to Him and asking for the forgiveness, repenting from our sins and accepting Christ as Lord. This is true, but here's the thing:

God has already forgiven the world, 

but that doesn't mean all are reconciled to him 

(Cloud and Townsend, 257).  

It's our choice to respond to this forgiveness by believing in His Son, repenting of our sins, accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour of our lives, and confessing this belief. And of course, leading a life thereafter which shows this acceptance, because true repentance leads to change. In doing so we are saying, "God, I want to be a part of what this great relationship with you... I accept"... hence, reconciliation.

It also makes me think about the love God has for us. Yes He is God, but if He hadn't forgiven us His love wouldn't be as strong. We can't hold a grudge AND love somebody. When we truly forgive someone we are able to love them, even if we don't have the reconciled relationship with them.

Overall the takeaways I would love for you to get from post are:

1. Forgiveness only requires one side. Even if the other person never apologizes or asks you for forgiveness. Forgiveness is a work of grace in your heart. It will increase your ability to love.
2. Reconciliation requires both sides. Which requires true repentance, leading to change in direction of previous actions, so that the relationship can be restored and move forward together.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, 

forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Comparing is never caring...

While the love of money is root of all evil, comparison is the root of all envy.

“... when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:12‬b ESV‬‬

When we compare ourselves to others, and we feel we don't measure up, we fall into self pity or simply a sadness of not being good enough. We may become unwilling to try anything out of fear that we will fail. We may also become envious and discontent with what we have and who we are when we look around and compare with others.

On the other side of comparing, we may feel that we are superior, thus becoming proud, boastful and arrogant. I think, we can also begin to complain and become judgemental towards others, assuming they are not at the same standard as us because we think we are better than they are.

There's something about comparison that leads to division- arguments, discontentment and a lack of unity. I know I've been a victim of comparing myself to others in my own friendships. But when we put aside our differences and truly care for one another... we'd be living our lives closer to the way God intended.

“that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:25-26‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When we get passed comparing, we truly start loving as God instructed us:

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

So in summary, comparing leaves us feeling inadequate, incapable, and dispensable. But when we choose to love instead of judge through comparison, we live in unity. And ultimately, each of us was uniquely designed, with different gifts, talents and abilities that God planned in advance for us for His own pleasure and glory! 

Gratefully Satisfied

So, back in February, I briefly wrote about how you can combat complaining through humility and gratitude. I had said I'd write more about it "next week" however it's been about two months, so I thank you immensely for your patience and pray this post was worth the wait. The post on humility can be found here.

~~~

Complaining can be so easy. Especially if we allow the negative mindset to shade our reality, leading us to a life of discontentment. Another way to overcome complaining is when we choose to focus on being grateful. Gratitude changes the way we perceive our circumstances.

In my current work experience, we work in a team-based environment. Now, when I think of "team", I think... we should all work together, pull our own weight and contribute as often as possible to make our workplace better. But sometimes others just don't live up to the expectations I have put in my mind for them, and in turn I start to grumble, complain, and whine because I find myself doing more than they are. It's really unattractive to be constantly complaining, no one around me really wants to hear it, and it doesn't help with getting the work done either.
But when I choose to keep a grateful attitude, it honestly doesn't even bother me that I carry more of the work load some days, because I'm choosing to remind myself it's on God's strength in which I am able to do my job and do it well. After all, I'm working for God Himself first and foremost. 

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men...” 

Colossians‬ ‭3:23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

"give thank in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV

When we allow discontentment to rule our hearts, we will always be miserable. Instead of grumbling and complaining, we are to praise God... Giving thanks for who He is, what He's done and what He says He'll do. 

This truth, of course, relates to more than work: whether we are at home, the doctors office, school, sport events, bank lines; while we drive, take the bus, or when our flight is delayed; hanging out with friends, or even not-so friendly people; if we're chilling at home alone on a Friday night; whatever the case, we can choose to be grateful. 

And there are so many things to be grateful for!  The air we breathe, the ability to feed and dress ourselves... the fact that I was able to write this blog and you're able to read it right now is something I'm grateful for!

And when we choose to be grateful, there will be joy in our hearts and ultimately we will be living in the will of God in Christ Jesus for us! Joy is so much better than discontentment. So let not complain... but rather give thanks to God in all circumstances.

Book suggestion:
"Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

We Were Made For God's Glory

I just completed a three day devotional on my YouVersion Bible App called "What is God's purpose for my life?". And I was wondering, 'could this topic really be unpacked in just 3 days???'

I've been fighting to find my purpose for as long as I've been made aware of the need to "know" the answer to the question, "what am I here for?". Here as in, on earth, during these specific decades, in geographical area which I currently reside. Maybe you're wondering the same thing.

Let's unpack this three day devotional right here, right now - the majority is paraphrased, anything in quotes it taken word for word from the devotional. I take no credit for the ideas stated here as they can call be pulled from God's word anyway. Enjoy!

Day 1: God's Purpose for Himself

What is God's goal in creating the world?

In Isaiah 43:7 we are given a word picture of God wanting us back... when Adam and Eve rebelled against God in the garden, all of man was eternally doomed to be separated from God. [Enter: Jesus.] But ultimately, we were created and exist for God's glory.

How does our lives reflect who God is?
Do people who encounter us, see God's character in us?

Everything we do should point back to God. Our purpose should be His purpose, which is to bring glory and honour to Himself. We often get stuck in our own purpose, but as we spend time reading and meditating on His Word, in prayer and in worship, He will align our purpose with His purpose.

Isaiah 43:7 (NIV)

"...everyone who is called by my name, 

whom I created for my glory, 

whom I formed and made."

Day 2: God's Goal

So we've established the world and us were made to bring glory and honour to God. Now, how can we align ourselves to be a part of God's goal?

"The purpose of our lives is to point to Him no matter where we are, what we are doing or whom we are with." This is to be in prefect alignment with His will/purpose/goal.

Acts 1:8 (NIV)

"But you will receive power 

when the Holy Spirit comes on you; 

and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, 

and in all Judea and Samaria, 

and to the ends of the earth."

Pray to align our lives with God's purpose.
Where are we in God's purpose? How is God being glorified there (in those circumstances)?
What do you want most to change? How might God be receiving glory and becoming more known through those situations?

We should look for God in our circumstances, and ask Him to help us be satisfied in every moment.

Day 3: God's Plan

By what means is God to be glorified? Answer: Through our relationship with Him through Christ Jesus! Also, through daily prayer, study of the Word, worship, and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

1. Daily reading of the Word will allow us insight on God's character.
2. "Live in a righteous and biblical manner where God has placed you, and do so consistently." 
3. Active Ministry - be guided by God's Holy Spirit in sharing the through our words and conduct.

God brought creation into being so that everything points back to Him. He is to be elevated always.
Strive daily to find God where we are, who we are with, and in what we are doing.

If there is an area - prayer, word, or worship - which we feel we are lacking, we should spend some time there. Pray that God will be revealed in each area of our lives.

Prayer:
"Thank you God for this journey of discovering my purpose. Lord, I long to draw closer to you, thank you for the desire you've placed in my heart to know you more. Let my time in prayer, the Word and worship allow me to know you more, so that your glory may be revealed. Help me to hear your voice and have the courage to follow where you lead. In Jesus' name, amen."

Romans 11:36 (NLT)
"For everything comes from Him and exists by His power
and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen." 

Eyes on the King

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The past week, I failed to realize fully that my gaze was shifting; from heavenly to earthly. From true contentment in Christ to hopeless pursuit in temporary satisfaction (aka fleshly attention, the heart of selfie culture). My heart is so disconnect in the temporary, in those moments that follow an attempt at sin-full satisfaction. I failed to prevent myself from thinking that some person could truly meet the need, fill the God-size void, in my heart.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes we all just need a hug. But the intentions my heart lifted the attention of a man above the value of God's love for me. God's love and attention has been set on and towards me since before time began, and that nothing can separate me from His love- including my struggling thoughts and emotions.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

‭‭James‬ ‭4:8a‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? No! ...overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.... nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."‭‭ Romans‬ ‭8:35-39‬ ‭NLT‬

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith....”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When I keep my eyes on Jesus, making a conscious effort to remember these promises (listed above, and more) I'm more content, more joyful. Not looking to the left or right, for something or someone else to fill the longing for love, because everything goes back to the cross. Where Jesus demonstrated His love by giving His life as a sin sacrifice in my place so I could be reconciled back to the way God originally intended it; in eternal relationship with my King.

So if you find yourself struggling, longing for attention from the wrong sources, I pray that God would send you reminders of His love for you. He loves you so much. Through your friends, through song, His Word, dreams... maybe even this blog.

Blessings~

Song: Only One by Harvest