Lately, this has been my experience at my new workplace. I mentioned a few posts ago that I had received a promotion and moved to a new branch closer to home. I wrote about how I had waited and waited and waited for this day (approx. 912 days). So... here I am. New branch, new role, new challenges.
(I'm going to do my best to stay positive while I type this because sometimes it's just too easy for me to feel sorry for yourself and have a small perspective.)
While at work there will be moments of conversation, and there's usually a lot of conversation, with multiple team members gathering to participate in the hype of sharing thoughts and opinions... yet from my perspective, while everyone is circled up over there, I am over here.
By myself and uninvited.
Perhaps it's because I'm usually working on something or serving a client (because I lean towards the idea that we're paid to work, and not wasting time talking), but in all honesty, I feel like an outsider. And I so desperately want to be a part of it. These types of questions cross my mind: How on earth do I fit in to their already established group? What could I possibly add to show I have a valuable opinion or strong understanding of whatever it is their talking about?
Last Tuesday, I was sitting between two co-workers who were pretty much talking through me... what I mean is, there was one person on either side of me and they were having a full out non-work related conversation, while I sat in the middle feeling invisible.
I started thinking I wonder if they know I'm still here. But as they were chatting away, there was a phrase that kept coming to mind, "In the world, but not of it". And as they conversation continued it was on repeat, "In the world, but not of it".
And while I don't have a specific step by step 'how to be in the world but not of it", I do know where to start looking. In John 17, Jesus was praying for His disciples when He said:
I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.
John 17:14-18 NKJV
The Word of God has been a constant source of encouragement, correction, and wisdom to me. It's the owners manual on how to live life, and live it well; despite all the challenges and issues anyone may face. And as a Christian I have been called to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth: although I am no longer "of" the world, I am still in it.
Jesus’s true followers have not only been crucified to the world,
but also raised to new life and sent back in to free others.
- David Mathis, desiringgod.org
~~~
I realized that I, personally, need to change my thinking in order to overcome this feeling of being left out while at work. God's given me the opportunity to be a this particular work place at this particular time, to be surrounded by these particular people, so that He - in His perfect, yet mysterious, way - can work in the lives of those around me.
So steps that I am personally going to take to continue to grow and know who I am in Christ, is by spending time with Him through prayer and reading the Bible. I will also surround myself with family and friends who build me up. And if I catch a negative thought, I'm going to cast it down in Jesus name and replace it with something positive or truth-filled.
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