Identity Crisis

It's shocking how life seems to slip by so fast, especially during the warmer seasons. I meant to post this blog the day after it happened, which was supposed to be August 8th... 20 days later...

So I attended a church service at LPC on August 7th, 2017. LPC stands for Lakeshore Pentecostal Camp - it's in Cobourg, Ontario. As a teenager, I had the privilege to attend youth camp on a yearly basis till the age of 18. Youth camp was amazing - a week long of non-stop fun, a little bit of drama and a whole lot of church. It has definitely left a lasting impact on my life and many others. I'm also thankful for the work God is continuing to do there at LPC.

Now, this particular sermon on August 7th was brought to us by a gentleman named Paul Fraser (I think). And he spoke on the topic of identity. 

Identity, for me, has been a constant learning process of truly knowing who and whose I am. Over the last 4 years alone, I went through at least two major valleys of having "lost" myself: 

1. Once it was because I thought I wasn't accepted for who I was by the people around me, or just the people I so desperately wanted to be accepted by - my "friends" as some would call them. (But this is more about our need for approval and choosing our friends wisely and ultimately knowing our worth regardless of what others say/suggest/think. We might touch on this topic in another blog one day.)
2. Another season of losing myself was when I felt as though I needed to change the way I acted and responded to certain things to fit the role I filled at work... after months of suppressing my natural emotions and responses I woke up one day and asked myself, "Okay, what's happened? How did I get here? And, Where has Amanda gone?" aka, WHO AM I?!

But going back to LPC, Paul Fraser started his sermon off by saying: "This week is not about you, it's about all the people around you - your sphere of influence. This week is shaping and transforming you, for all of them." But isn't it always? We don't consider the fact that everything we go through is not really for ourselves, it's for the people we are going to encounter. Sure, we learn from the events of life, and have an opportunity to grow in the difficult moments, but in the long run what we go through is for the benefit of others.

For Paul Fraser it all started with a question: "Who am I?" He said he had asked himself some serious questions about his identity; what he really thinks and what he really wants. He then began to speak about, what I believe is a perfect summary of, the marks of identity crisis. 

You become a victim of identity crisis when...

1. You start to define yourself by what you do.

• We shift who we are - and base it on what we are doing... Satan likes to come and confuse us, saying if you "do" something, you will "be" it. 
• You will lose yourself when you think you are only what you do - what happens when you fail at those things? 
• Then you move from a place of affirmation (approval) to rejection. Rejection causes us to fear when we let it overwhelm us. 
• Jesus created us first as a human BEing, then he allowed us to "do"; in that particular order. 
• A good prayer: I am loved and I am accepted by God. ... if you look for this outside of God, you will be exhausted.

2. You become defined by what you have. 

• Check your "want: level, it can quickly turn into "neeeeed"... but is it really necessary? 
• When you wrap your identity in what you have, it's only temporary. So when the items/material things are gone... so goes your identity and the cycle starts all over again. 
• When you have God, you don't "neeeeeed" anything else.  

So sometimes we lose ourselves in what we do or what we have. But the question of "who am I" is incomplete because it only makes us look within ourselves. Rather, we should be asking "WHOSE am I?", as it leads us to look outside ourselves. And there's only One who knows why we were created, only One who knows our purpose, only One who knows our fulfillment is - God Himself. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. 

And it is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 

not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 

For we are his [God's] workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus for good works, 

which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV

You are God's masterpiece. He knows why you were created; your true identity. Paul titled his message "Ask the Artist". So when in doubt, simply ask.

And this concludes what I learned about at LPC on August 7th, 2017.